


Here Comes a Thought

by tothebatcave53



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Prompt Fill, Singing, Steven Universe Songs, Yuuri taking care of Victor, catfishpromptparty, cheesy romantic lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11679921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothebatcave53/pseuds/tothebatcave53
Summary: Yuuri isn't much of a singer, he doesn't sound as good as Victor but a panic attack is a panic attack and he isn't going to sit back and do nothing while Victor cries. Unfortunately, Yuuri is also a giant nerd and doesn't really know many songs that aren't from some sort of television show.





	Here Comes a Thought

**Author's Note:**

> Yuuri would totally have all sorts of tv show songs on his phone to listen to, no one can convince me otherwise. 
> 
> prompt fill for the catfishprompt party: Yuuri having to deal with a - for whatever reason - panicky Viktor rather than the other way round (bonus for gross sobbing :D)
> 
> Enjoy!

Normally Yuuri is anxious before any competition he goes into; it doesn’t matter how well he’s prepared or how good his routine is, anxiety is always there gnawing at his insides until he makes himself sick from the fear. This time though, just days before the Grand Prix Final, he’s excited. It’ll be the first major competition that he and Victor will be competing in together, Victor’s first major event since coming back from being Yuuri’s coach last season. 

Yuuri is ready, he wants to skate next to his idol and his fiance. They stand as equals now and he’s ready to push himself as hard as he can, prove to Victor that he’s someone to be proud of.

“I’m home.” Yuuri lays his skating bag by the door, looking around the empty apartment. Victor should be home by now, he’d had training that morning with Yakov so that he could relax tonight. He’d coached Yuuri afterward then left ahead of him to get their travel arrangements finalized and Makkachin dropped off at doggy daycare. “Victor?”

Silence is his only answer but his fiance is definitely home because his shoes and skate bag are laying right next to where Yuuri has laid his. 

“Victor?” Yuuri calls out again, his joyful mood immediately eaten alive by worry. Anything could have happened while Victor was home alone, fell, attacked, choked. Yuuri gives each part of the apartment a detailed look through before he finally finds Victor, curled up around his knees between their bed and the wall. “Victor?” Yuuri asks, his voice low. 

Yuuri drops to his knees in front of his fiance, hands hovering as he tries to figure out what’s wrong. “Are you hurt?” A single shake of silver hair is his only answer which doesn’t bring Yuuri any closer to figuring out what could possibly be wrong. “Did something happen to Makka?” Another shake of Victor’s head brings Yuuri only more confusion. He opens his mouth to ask another question, what he isn’t sure, but then Victor makes a tiny hiccuping noise and Yuuri can tell he’s crying. 

“Vitya,” Yuuri breaths, carefully wrapping his arms around trembling shoulders. Immediately Victor’s fingers bury in his shirt but he doesn’t lift his head. “It’s okay Victor, I’m right here. I’ve got you.” As Yuuri holds him Victor’s muscles lose some of their tension but with it the emotions start to pour out. His breathing is tight and erratic, eyes squeezed shut even as tears continue to fall. Yuuri’s had enough panic attacks to recognize one when he sees it. 

Victor has become very good at helping Yuuri through any panic attacks he has, singing him soft songs in Russian and rubbing his back until Yuuri’s muscles loosen up enough to breath again. Yuuri isn’t very good at knowing what someone else needs when they’re stuck in the middle of an attack but he does know what works to calm him down. 

“Victor just listen to my voice okay?” Yuuri whispers, tucking Victor in close to his chest. His fingers slowly brush through silver hair, untangling any knots until his fingers glide through it easily. Yuuri starts to hum softly, ignoring his own nervous discomfort. He doesn’t have a beautiful voice like Victor and he doesn’t know any fancy songs but he moves from humming to singing softly anyways. 

 

_ Take a moment to think of just _

_ Flexibility, love, and trust _

_ Here comes a thought that might alarm you _

_ What someone said and how it harmed you _

 

Yuuri’s voice is soft as he sings into Victor’s hair. It floats around them in the quiet of the room, his fingers tracing out a half created skating pattern on Victor’s back. Yuuri doesn’t love to sing but he does, for the man in his arms. Victor continues to shake, panic thrumming through him and his mind. 

 

_ And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch _

_ All these little things seem to matter so much _

_ That they confuse you _

_ That I might lose you _

 

Victor’s breath catches in his chest and Yuuri tilts him, singing louder so Victor has to focus on him and not the fear. His own chest lightens at the lyrics he forms, a gentle whisper of love and caring for the man in his arms. 

 

_ Take a moment, remind yourself _

_ To take a moment and find yourself _

_ Take a moment and ask yourself _

_ If this is how we fall apart _

_ But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not _

_ It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay _

 

Yuuri closes his eyes, smiling. 

 

_ You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear _

_ I'm here, I'm here, I'm here _

 

Victor’s shivering is less, the pain in Yuuri’s chest at seeing him like that on the floor and so afraid falls away. He sings again, stronger. He has to be the one to ground Victor, to pull him back from the edge he’s pushed himself up against. He repeats the lyrics, feeling Victor’s pulse slow under the tips of his fingers. 

When his voice finally fades and Yuuri lets himself just hum, Victor almost feels like he’s fallen asleep against his chest. 

“What was that, that you were singing to me?” Victor suddenly whispers. 

Yuuri’s cheeks flush at the question and he distracts himself by brushing his fingers down Victor’s nose, along his cheekbones. He can feel the dried tears on Victor’s cheeks, making the normally soft skin feel sticky. “Ah, just… something Phichit started singing to me after we watched an episode of a show,” Yuuri mumbles, embarrassed. 

“What show?” Victor doesn’t lift his head from where he’s pillowed it on Yuuri’s shoulder and he doesn’t open his eyes but some of the tension leaves his neck.

“Steven Universe.” Yuuri blows his hair out of his forehead, forcing himself to keep talking so Victor will remain distracted from his own emotions, even if he’s slightly embarrassed. “You always sing to me in Russian when I’m upset but this was the first thing that popped into my head to sing to you.”

Victor sighs, nosing at Yuuri’s throat. “I liked it.”

“Yeah?” Yuuri turns his head to kiss Victor’s hair. “It was either that or the Pokemon theme song and I didn’t think that one was gonna be very comforting.” Victor’s soft snort of amusement fuels Yuuri. “I have tons of nerdy songs I could sing to you; all very silly and completely useless for comforting people.”

Victor wraps his arms tighter around Yuuri’s middle, a shaky little laugh falling from his lips. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“You didn’t have to do anything Victor.” Yuuri leans over enough so he can tilt Victor’s face upward to kiss him gently. “I’ll always be here for you, the same way you’re always there for me. You can trust me to take care of you, okay?”

Victor ducks his head again, withdrawing into himself. “Everyone expects so much from me,” he finally says. “Coming back, everyone thinks I’ll fail because of how old I am and because I took a year off. I don’t want them to blame you because I coached you and I don’t want to fail; I’m not ready to retire yet. I finally love skating again. I love skating with you.”

Yuuri nods in understanding. He’s had many of those same worries, Yuuri just hadn’t guessed that Victor was having those same concerns and that they had taken root so deeply. Victor hides things so well but it’s up to Yuuri to learn to read the signs of when things are getting bad. Victor always does the same for him. 

“A very wise and beautiful man once told me in front of the cathedral that I proposed to him at, skate a program you can honestly say you like the best. I think that was some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.”

Under his fingers Victor trembles and Yuuri can tell he’s crying again, silent drops of water sliding down his cheeks to splash against Yuuri’s collarbone. 

“Vitya the only person’s opinion that matters is yours. You’re the greatest figure skater this sport has ever known; any performance you give is going to be beautiful because you give it your everything. And no matter what you do out there, whether you win lose, I will always be so proud of you,” Yuuri breaths. “Do you know that?”

Victor gives a small nod of his head.

“Good. I don’t think I say it enough but I am. I am so, so proud of you.”

There’s another soft sob from under him and Yuuri smiles as Victor pushes against him even harder than before tucking himself under Yuuri’s chin. They can’t really get any closer and yet Victor seems dead set on trying.

Yuuri gives it another fifteen minutes of sitting before the tingling in his legs can’t be ignored anymore. “Come on, let's go shower and then go to bed. It’s been a long day already.” Victor allows Yuuri to push him up until he’s standing but as soon as Yuuri follows, Victor is leaning into his side again, clinging.

“Will you sing to me again when we lay down?” Victor whispers.

“Of course Vitya, anything you want I’ll give you.” Yuuri presses his lips to Victor’s hair. When he pulls back it’s so he can take them to the shower and get his fiance cleaned up. As soon as Yuuri gets them into bed though he plans to kiss every inch of skin he can between songs until Victor can rest peacefully, knowing Yuuri will be there to chase away every fear that rears it’s ugly head up. 


End file.
